The lure of Lamu becomes immediately apparent if you stay in Jahazi, a Swahili-style house on a deserted beach about 25 minutes by boat from mainland Kenya at the southernmost tip of the island. You’re welcomed at the water’s edge by five staff – includingyour own boat captain and private chef – all wearing white shorts and Africa-sized smiles. With its private pool, fabulous baraza (meeting area), five colonial Swahili-style bedrooms and view of the Indian Ocean, many guests feel inclined simply to remain supine. (‘I hope for a massive storm so that we have to stay longer,’ scribbled Ewan McGregor in the visitors’ book.)

Jahazi is one of only six Kizingoni Beach Houses built next to what must be the longest stretch of deserted beach in the universe and surrounded by sand dunes. A few steps away from the ocean, the houses are built of coral block and plastered in the local limestone, with palm-thatched roofs, terraces overlooking the ocean, limestone floors tinted a soft ochre yellow and al fresco bathrooms beneath starry African skies (think also Swahili carved wooden door frames, colonial Swahili furniture and palm-leaf Ali Baba lampshades).

All you have to do here is move from one bed to another: from opium beds with big bolsters and oversized raw silk cushions to ones built on niru (plasterwork) bases, hammocks swinging in the breeze, romantic mozzie-net-draped four-posters, traditional Lamu day beds and kikoi-strewn beds swinging from coconut fibre ropes and overlooking the gardens. You wake up to alarm calls from tropical birds and to waves crashing on the white sand.

It’s compelling to spend days just flicking through magazines and eating the day’s catch and coconut rice, served on the terrace overlooking the ocean by the barefoot butler with the mega-watt smile. But Leslie Duckworth, known locally as the Duchess of Fixit, has other ideas for us. Probably the person who put Lamu so fashionably on the map, the Duchess is one of that peculiarly Kenyan breed of indefatigable entrepreneur. She knows le tout Afrique, manages the Kizingoni Beach Houses and has decorated them stylishly, writes books on African medicinal plants, buys and sells houses, is involved in the Lamu women’s community projects, has a shop in Nairobi…

She insists we stir ourselves and walk the few steps to the beach as night falls and the sky fills with stars. There we find a table set, Savoy-style, with a linen cloth and crockery, and at which we sit alone on a beach under the endless African sky eating succulent barbecued prawns and skewered crayfish followed by delicate passion fruit sorbet served by our butler. (Nets laden with fish from snapper to tuna are delivered daily to the beach.) Then Samburu warriors appear suddenly wearing vivid fabrics and bead and feather headdresses, and do frenetic and primitive tribal dances. There’s no sense that they’ve done this a million times before for tourists, because they haven’t.

The more energetic visitors can water-ski (a speedboat and boatman come with the house), donut, snorkel and swim the channel between the house and the mainland. (‘Amazing,’ concluded Sienna Miller in the guest book. ‘Swam with dolphins TWICE.’) Or you can get up at 6am and – accompanied by Samburu to deter the occasional petty thief; there is virtually no violent crime on the island – walk for around three hours in the cool of the early morning. (The less fit can go by donkey or camel.) As the sun moves up the sky, you stride through the sand eight miles to Shela, the Notting Hill of Lamu, along a beach where sea turtles lay eggs at full moon and thousands of teeny pink crabs scuttle sideways into the water. We pass only a goat, a stray dog and wandering cattle and, closer to civilisation, some donkeys with straw panniers being filled with stones and a Moses-style figure wading through the water, hauling a boat made from a hollowed tree trunk and carrying a live goat and a cow.

Finally we arrive in Shela. This is where you can sit on cushions in the famous Sixties Peponi Hotel to have a feast of fish in coconut off big brass trays; eat on the terrace while gazing at the dhows sailing past; or lounge at the bar – the centre of the world out here and the only place in Shella serving alcohol – where rastas and Euros in leopard-print bikinis share Tusker beers with royalty. I sit on the terrace feeling mightily smug at having covered my eight miles so fast. I drink steaming cups of coffee, eat fresh exotic fruits and gaze longingly across the water at the Robinson Crusoe home of the tribal-inspired jewellery designer, Carolyn Roumeguere (Julian Sands, Nicole Kidman and Donna Karan are fans).

And then it’s off to look at Shela. It’s clean, gentrified and quaint. A place less spoilt and cheaper than the Caribbean. A place where women wear sequinned kaftans and cheery sarongs. There’s only one bar and one restaurant; it’ll never be St Tropez, thankfully. But it is the place to buy former dilapidated Swahili houses, most now fashionably renovated. Go and see a few with Englishman Andrew McGhie who started Lamu Island Property – the island’s first real estate agency – and climb their stairs and look over makuti thatched roofs at the biblical scene. A delightful and engaging man, Andrew will spirit you into Arab houses built of coral and limestone and Swahili houses with mangrove and coconut roofs. ‘The island has changed more in the last five years than it has in the last 100,’ he says.

If you just want to rent a house for your holiday, try El Yafir, just moments away from Peponi. It’s the stylish house of Mary Greenwell,- who counts Gwyneth Paltrow, Keira Knightly and Kate Moss among her clients. Mary bought a plot five years ago in Shela. Inspired by the island’s Islamic traditions, she designed her beautiful petit palais with the help of architect Claudio Modola. It has niru floors, Swahili doors and furniture designed by Mary and fashioned by traditional craftsmen in local woodwork shops where artisans make intricate mahogany carved door-frames and bed-heads.

A vast Rajasthani front door leads into a cool hall with a fountain and font with bougainvillea petals floating in it. If there is such a thing as romantic church style, then this is it, with its arches, pillars, hanging glass lanterns and ecclesiastical-style windows. There are an abundance of places in which to lie and daydream: delightful alcoves containing day beds, four posters swathed in muslin, Moorish-style sunken baths and a fairy-tale terrace with urns of bougainvillea, cascading flowers and fringed with cream curtains fluttering in the breeze. There seem also to be endless smiling staff bringing endless plates of endless deliciousness, and they all come with the house when you rent it.

If you’re lucky (and Lamu is that kind of place) Andrew or Mary may introduce you to Eric and Christina Zeller – who live about ten donkey paces away from El Yafir. If so, go and be nosey in their home, Lulu Y Shella (Pearl of Shella), the spacious Fifties house built by casting director Bonni Allen. Now lived in by Eric, an interior and furniture designer and architect, and Christina, the über-stylish accessories designer for Givenchy, their house with its fusion of European and African idioms bears many of his deft touches combined with her aesthetic stamp. Between them they’ve come up with an eclectic mixture of cool features: from Arabic words as murals on the white plaster walls (‘we hoped it was going to be a lovely poem,’ laughs Christina, ‘but it turns out it’s just the opening times of the local museum’), to a stunning Eric-designed driftwood table that stretches almost to the mainland.

If you fancy travelling further back in time, jump in a boat and bounce over the waves a few minutes to Lamu town, a place so remote it has been spared modernisation and civilisation as we know it. Lamu is Kenya’s oldest town, a bustling port and Unesco World Heritage site with 72,000 inhabitants, 25,000 donkeys and one donkey sanctuary (opened by two Englishwomen, natch.) It has just one car (which belongs to the District Commissioner), one road (too narrow to turn; if the DC forgets something he has to reverse home), and 28 mosques for its mostly Muslim population.

Here you find women in traditional black bui buis and men in white kanzu robes wandering along tiny, winding alleyways, some only three feet wide. And there’s a throbbing market whose vendors, seated on the ground, sell sweet potatoes and papayas outside the 19th-century fort – once a prison and now housing a cyber cafe.

Originally a 14th-century Swahili sea trader settlement trading ivory, leopard skins, rhino horn and, later, slaves, it has an alluring mixture of Arab, Portuguese, Turkish, Omani and British influences from its erstwhile settlers: the Turks with their glassware and the Omanis with their art and arches. From the 9th century dhows have arrived in Lamu on the Kaskazi wind from the east with perfume, sugar and silk. Lamu is redolent of that history and going into the charming port-side museum is little different from standing in the street.

There’s fine Swahili architecture (including 16th-century houses) and many 19th-century mansions – high, austere, windowless homes hiding airy courtyards pungent with jasmine and delightful, hidden cool spaces with carved doors, intricate coral work, plasterwork niches and, possibly even antique hardwood furniture inlaid with bone. You can see all this and more with Andrew McGhie, if you’re looking to buy. (It’ll cost a snip of what anything as beautiful would cost nearer home; contact him on +254 (0)720 859 599, www.lamuislandproperty.com).

Lamu is known for attracting the ‘gyp set’: artists, eccentrics, escapists, dreamers, weirdos and romantics (once it was the African version of Kathmandu, a paradise for backpackers in search of alternative realities). It’s far from Kenya’s mainland political instability and election violence. There are no perilous roads, no traffic jams, no television and, thankfully, a lousy internet signal. Just dhow racing, henna painting competitions, donkey racing and er, competitions for who has the most healthy donkey (the prize for a robust donkey? A mobile phone).

It’s a place where time is measured in sunsets and you feel free and supremely relaxed; where you’re in touch with the vast African sky, nature and the rhythms of life. Where there are dhows in full sail and donkeys laden with panniers of coral rock. Where there are exotic days filled with lime sodas, sea breezes and ever-smiling people.

As long as you remember to keep slapping on the factor Ten Zillion suncream (it’s two degrees south of the Equator) and popping the horrid anti-malarial pills, if you must (although, being an island, there are virtually no cases of the disease,) there’s no downside. We bounce back along the waves to our Kizingoni Beach House, a smile on my face, another in my heart. Yes, it certainly out-paradises the competition.

Kizingoni Beach Houses from £1,965 per person based on four couples sharing a house for seven nights on a fully inclusive basis, including flights and transfers and airport taxes. For more information or to book, call Scott Dunn on 020 8682 5070; www.scottdunn.com. E-mail africa@scottdunn.com or info@kizingoni.com.
Virgin Atlantic flies Heathrow to Nairobi daily. Fares from £379. Book on: 08448 747 747; www.virginatlantic.com.

To hire Mary Greenwell’s house, contact Babu British: 00 254 7358 02340; babubritish@yahoo.com. High season prices: December, January, August – $400 for the master bedroom, and $50 for each extra person using the other two bedrooms per night. February and March: $300 for the master bedroom, and $50 for each extra person. Rest of year: $250 for master bedroom and $50 for each extra person. Price includes transfers, private chef and house boys. Food and beverages extra. Menus can be discussed on a daily basis with the chef.

During the late 60s, the Labour Premier of Tasmania, the Honourable Eric Reece, nicknamed ‘Electric Eric’, made the observation that ‘tourists come to the state with one shirt and a £10 note and leave having changed neither’. I don’t suppose such a comment did much to improve the state’s profile; it was already deemed, in the eyes of many, to be a backwater that not even the dingo had bothered to cross to.

Notwithstanding Electric Eric’s observation, there are those who claim that he single-handedly spawned the local tourist industry by building the first legal Australian casino at Wrest Point. A reason to visit had been created. Still, when I was filming in Australia and on the lookout for unusual locations, I frequently received the advice, ‘don’t bother with that island across the Bass Strait. There’s nothing there except a casino.’ Over the years I must have heard every joke going about the Tassies being ‘inbreds with two heads’ and I foolishly never set foot on Australia’s southernmost state.

© photo Carol Drinkwater 2010

Today, Tasmania has gained from those ‘backwater’ years. Before anyone had really started to consider eco-tourism or organic produce, during the decades when hotels were going up like rockets, polluting beaches and destroying landscapes, Tasmania was ignored and that paucity has proved to be one of its greatest advantages, its richest selling point. Its scenery, which is truly spectacular, remains intact. You can travel for miles around its coastline, bury yourself deep within its cool climate rainforests, and never meet another soul. 22percent of the island is World Heritage and a third, protected or national parkland. It boasts the cleanest air on the planet and a fabulous trove of indigenous flora and fauna. It was only because I was invited there seven years ago that I finally made the trip.

So bowled over was I by the island’s natural beauty and the quality of its food produce and wines – the best Rieslings I have ever tasted – that I began to think all those jokes had been created by the Tassies themselves to keep the place a secret. It does not have the international nightlife or wide range of restaurants that Melbourne has to offer; it cannot claim Sydney’s harbour; it is not situated on the Great Barrier Reef, one of the seven natural wonders of the world and a diver’s paradise but, make no mistake, Tasmania is astounding and its resorts and restaurants are catching up fast.

I returned there at the end of 2009, springtime down under, and the island was ablaze with wildflowers. I had returned to walk the Bay of Fires, a conservation area along the northeast coast. I flew in from Sydney to Launceston airport where I was collected and driven to Quamby, a 19th century colonial homestead built outside the city of Launceston by Irish convicts for an Irish political prisoner, Sir Richard Dry who was later pardoned. Quamby – an Aboriginal word meaning, ‘a place to camp’ – is set in 64 hectares of parkland with a nine-hole golf course. On that landscaped estate I met the seven other walkers and our two guides and over a glass of exceedingly fine Bay of Fires sparkling wine, we were given the drill.

Our walk was over four days. We were driven by private coach through old tin-mining towns to the coast where the trek began at Boulder Point in the Mount William National Park. Almost the instant we descended the coach and donned our backpacks, we came face to face with several mobs of Forester kangaroos grazing amongst the wildflowers while overhead flew five or six pelicans. We carried our own gear but were allowed no more than ten kilos apiece, to include wet weather apparel, thermals, swimming costume, sunscreen, water bottle… the list was precise, exhaustive. My habitual luggage of perfumes, skin creams, computer were not included and I was warned they could not been taken. Our guide assured me that by the end of that first day I would be grateful for their strict adherence to the rules.

Four days strolling along a national heritage beach, how challenging could that be? No one had mentioned the granite boulders, mini-mountains to me clambering and sliding as I negotiated them along with my rucksack, which I longed to throw into the sea. I usually found myself bringing up the rear, but no one seemed to mind waiting. Those damn great boulders were magnificent to behold, grown over with a local lichen that rendered them rusty-looking, orange-hued. Set that against crystal clear, turquoise water and white sands and you have one of the scenic compositions that constantly took my breath away. It was another reason I was always lagging behind. Why hurry? I needed to stand still, to imprint on my mind the curvaceous beauty of these beaches, bay after bouldered bay, each one several kilometres long, with not a footprint saves ours. Our companions were Sea eagles or Short-tailed Shearwaters by day and wombats or Bennett’s wallabies by evening.

Our first night was spent at Forester Beach Camp set within sand dunes, dinner beneath the stars, and then onwards, stopping to explore a 19th century lighthouse at Eddystone Point, towards the eco-friendly Bay of Fires Lodge where we spent our last two days, relaxing, kayaking the Ansons River, walking barefoot in the sand, swimming and drinking Pinot Noir by the log fire. At several points along our path, set in between the rocks were embedded hillocks of seashells. These were Aboriginal Middens, witness to their residence here over millennia. Why is it known as the Bay of Fires? As Captain Tobias Furneaux’ ship sailed these eastern waters in 1773, the beaches were lit with dozens of campfires. It must have been a spectacular sight with the Aboriginal tribes gazing out to sea, performing their dances and rituals. This coastline was sacred to them and I could see why.

www.caroldrinkwater.com

A small French island in the West Indies, St Barth’s has been called the St Tropez of the Caribbean. The island has a unique charm of its own with 22 beaches, dozens of chic boutiques and restaurants galore that have loyal visitors flocking back year after year. A bohemian beach resort with more than a hint of glamour.

Where to stay

If you want to be right at the heart of the party scene and shops, then Eden Rock (+590 590 29 79 99; www.edenrockhotel.com) is for you. The hotel, which sits like a jewel on a rock dominating the Baie de St. Jean, has a roll call of past guests that includes Baron Rothschild, Brigitte Bardot and Greta Garbo. There are one and two bedroom split-level villas, two restaurants (the Sand Bar restaurant is the destination for lunch – make sure you reserve ahead in high season) and a staff who will happily organise everything from champagne picnics to wreck dives. There’s an art gallery with an artists in residence programme and children can take art lessons too.

Isle de France (+59 05 90 27 61 81; www.isle-de-france.com) in Flamards Beach is thought to be the best hotel on the island by many, pipping Eden Rock to the post because of its more extensive beach. Choose from beach views or villas nestled among lush tropical gardens. All are beautifully designed. There’s a restaurant on the beach, a gym, spa and freshwater pool. Even if you don’t stay here, come for lunch.

On a 16 acre peninsula jutting out to sea, the Hotel Guanahani and Spa (+59 05 90 27 66 60; www.leguanahani.com) is the largest luxury resort on the island and ideal for families. There are 68 villas and suites, many with private pools and terraces. Children are kept occupied at the kids club in their complimentary kindergarten programme for two-six year-olds and junior programme for six-12 year-olds, while parents can treat themselves at the beautifully designed spa.

Hotel Le Toiny (+59 05 90 27 88 88; www.letoiny.com) is a romantic retreat with 15 villas on a hillside. All the villas face the sea and have secluded terraces and private pools so feel utterly private. Masseurs, trainers and chefs will come to your villa. Honeymoon couples flock here.

Finally, if you want to rent a villa contact the brilliant SiBarths agency (+59 05 90 29 88 90; www.sibarthrealestate.com).

Where to eat

There are so many restaurants to choose from on the island but our favourites include locals lunch spot Do Brazil (+59 05 90 29 06 66; www.dobrazil.com), a two story house on Shell Beach which serves everything from lobster club sandwich to Brazilian specialities. Families love La Creperie (+59 05 90 27 84 07), which is great for breakfast and kids meals. Le Piment (+59 05 90 27 53 88) in St. Jean is ideal for a casual lunch with delicious sandwiches and salads when you are covered with sand from the beach and don’t feel up to the smart scene at Eden Rock or Isle de France.

For dinner, L’Isola (+59 05 90 51 00 05; www.lisolabarth.com) is a popular romantic Italian trattoria set in a white washed cottage. More formal than some restaurants on the island, it’s perfect for a romantic dinner. The pastas are delicious. PaCri (Route de Saline 97; +59 05 90 29 52 24; www.pacristbarth.com) is another excellent Italian restaurant on the island, serving authentic homemade dishes.

Alternatively head to L’Esprit de Salines (+59 05 90 52 46 10), a relaxed eatery on the route to Saline Beach which serves a mix of Asian, Caribbean and French seafood dishes or Maya’s (www.st-barths.com/mayas), a classic restaurant that’s so close to the water that waves lap at the deck as you tuck into the fresh catch of the day. Try the filao fish, served with a coconut-milk based sauce of tomatoes and cucumber – just remember to leave room for chocolate cake for dessert. La Marine (Rue Jeanne d’Arc; +59 05 90 27 68 91) also has a waterfront harbour setting and is renowned for fish. It is ideally located next to Le Yacht Club for those who want to go clubbing after dinner.

Eddy’s (Rue de Centenaire; +59 05 90 27 54 17) in Gustavia, is the most authentic Caribbean restaurant on the island and specialises in creole food. Bonito (Rue de la Sous; +59 05 90 27 96 96) is a new restaurant to watch. Situated high up on the hill in Gustavia with a commanding view of the harbour, its South American owners serve up their native specialities with a Caribbean twist, in an elegant white colonial setting.

Nights out

For the Young at Heart:

Full of the young and beautiful lounging on white mattresses, Nikki Beach (+59 05 90 27 64 64; www.nikkibeach.com/stbarths) in Gustavia is great for beachside partying by day and wining and dining by night. When it comes to Le Ti St Barth (+59 05 90 27 97 71), you either love it or hate it. A hilltop hideaway restaurant with burgundy interiors that feels more like a swanky boudoir, everyone dances on the tables after dinner. The best sushi on the island is at Le Bete à Z’ailes (+59 05 90 29 74 09; www.bazbar.com), fondly known as BAZ, right on the water in Gustavia harbour which has live entertainment most nights.

For the Grown-Ups:

Also in Gustavia, Le Yacht Club (+59 05 90 49 23 33) is a private members club but your concierge should be able to reserve you a table in the VIP section.

What to do

There are plenty of beaches to choose from but two of the best are Le Colombier and Saline. Le Colombier is accessed via a divine 20 minute walk from Flamands Bay. Obviously spending time on activities on or in the water is a big part of life here and Marine Service (+59 05 90 27 70 34; www.st-barths.com/marine.service) can organise everything from sailing and snorkelling to boat rentals. West Indies Dive (+59 05 90 27 70 34) offers scuba diving for novices and advanced divers alike. There are no golf courses on St Barths but Fly & Golf (+59 06 90 30 58 73; www.flygolf.net) will organise games on nearby islands.

What to buy

The newest must-have jewellery fad, beautiful cultivated black pearls that are threaded on leather cords, comes courtesy of Les Bijoux de la Mer in Gustavia (+59 05 90 52 37 68). And opposite, is Poupette (+59 05 90 27 55 78; www.poupette-st-barth.com), which sells fabulous kaftans and dresses.

When to go

High season starts at Christmas and hotels and villas can often be booked as far as a year in advance. Everything shuts at the end of August and stays closed until mid-October.

I’m sped from the airport by a James Bond-style driver dressed all in black. He plays New Age dolphin music, the sort that normally goes with massages and crystals. Is he getting me into the mood for the Sha Wellness Spa, the world’s first five-star macrobiotic spa, on the 50 minute drive from Valencia, Spain? Soon the spa looms like an ocean liner stranded among the Sierra Helada mountains, with the Lego tower blocks of Benidorm in the distance. Outside, one of the first of its endlessly solicitous staff welcomes me with a hot flannel. Then we enter the 28,000 square metres of white marble, water features and calm.

The clinic offers a fusion of Oriental and Western natural therapies, anti-ageing and non-invasive techniques. Sha is based on the ideas of Michio Kushi, a macrobiotics guru who believes that food is the key to health and health the route to peace. It was started by a property developer called Alfredo Bataller Parietti, after he was rid of a tumour and realised the body’s potential for curing itself with a macrobiotic diet and natural therapies.

A macrobiotic diet involves lots of grains, beans, fresh fruit and vegetables and avoids processed foods and animal fats, plus it includes the correct balance of acid and alkaline foods. If it’s good enough for Gwyneth and Madonna, I reason, it should be alright for me. Sort of.

First I’m shown round the spa. There’s a heli pad, chapel, gym, Aqua Lab (for water therapy treatments), Oxygen Bar (with bottles of oxygen to suck from while you’re waiting) and reception area with a display cabinet. Instead of Rolex watches or Dior handbags it contains soba, sea vegetables, nori flakes and spelt grains. Nearby signs indicate that the clinic offers ‘Sleep Medicine’ and ‘Anti-tobacco medicine’. Then I’m led upstairs to my suite (the spa has only suites), a Japanese-style oasis.

Next is a lunch of modern macrobiotic haute cuisine – think Heston Blumenthal with sea-weed (the chef, Pablo Montoro Fernandez trained at El Bulli). The dining room has mother-of-pearl look nightclub walls, a lotus pond, a floor of Arabesque white marble and Japanese dark wood tables. It’s also full of cashmere clad singletons treating their bodies as temples. I’m served lobster and sprouts in what I suspect is mud, followed by little black flying saucers of squid ravioli, then ice-cream decorated with beetroot crisps. The macrobiotic way is to chew each mouthful 54 times: I wonder why they don’t just serve it ready-masticated.

Afterwards, I meet the nurse for a health check in her office. I have dodgy knees (too much competitive running), a touch of eczema and sinusitis (after the flight). But broadly I’m extremely healthy plus caffeine, alcohol and nicotine-free. My aim is simply to lose a few pounds, read Wuthering Heights and go cold turkey on my BlackBerry. The nurse records my blood pressure, weight, lung capacity and fills in a health questionnaire. ‘Headaches, constipation and peeing a lot often happen when you start a macrobiotic diet,’ she warns, before adding that my weight is within normal range.

I’m to follow the spa’s Discovery programme – the price of which includes nurse and macrobiotic doctor consultations, a special diet, daily therapy (shiatsu to massage) and activities from yoga to meditation and talks. My diet will be decided after a consultation with the macrobiotic doctor. I’m anxious that I’m just going to be served minuscule portions of beans.

The next day I see Bill Tara, an American macrobiotic doctor with 45 years’ experience. Using the Oriental diagnosis of Bo-Shin, he considers the colour of my eyes, skin texture and temperature, checks my pulses and diagnoses which organs are under stress (kidneys and adrenal glands, apparently, from overworking). Bill personalises my diet which includes breakfast of miso soup and barley porridge with almond milk plus shitake mushroom tea (a Japanese medicinal tea to help the liver release toxicity) after every meal.

Over the following days, Bill gives great health talks on topics like food and science. At other times, I lie in a flotarium of Dead Sea water with illuminated stars on the ceiling (a waste of time and my head keeps banging against the edge of the pool); have a world-class massage (think magic hands and orange oil); join excellent yoga and pilates classes; and get wet in the Aqua Lab – a brilliant therapeutic water circuit with water beds and jets, pebble bath, caldarium, tepidarium and hydro pool, overgrown taps gushing water to massage your back and a Niagra Falls for pummelling the shoulders.

The rest of my hours are spent on the loo (diuretic, detoxing foods rule OK,) or getting lost looking for loos. Luckily there are four ladies’ lavatories by the restaurant. I’m taken aback when I get a call from reception saying, ‘You must come down for wee’, but it turns out they only want to weigh me.

Recently Bill busted some Sha-ites at the nearby Ben and Jerry’s bar but I follow the programme exactly and, to my surprise, I don’t feel hungry between meals. My Discovery meals are sensible portions of things like carrot soup, beautifully presented vegetables, tofu and barley followed by red fruit jelly. Or leek soup, salmon tartare, quinoa and seaweed then more fruit jelly. I don’t feel bloated afterwards, I have no cravings and feel, if not virtuous, then certainly almost virtuous.

A highlight of the week is a cookery demo with Marlene MacMillan (who spent a week teaching Rupert Everett to cook). Talk amongst the participants is about people who sleep on magnetic beds, how the Japanese don’t even have a word for menopause (because, being macrobiotic, they don’t suffer its effects) and how miso cleanses toxicity from the body. Meanwhile words like ’shoyu’, ‘tempe’ and ‘daikon’ are bandied, and I learn to make a mean miso soup.

The demo is interrupted for me when I’m called to a colonic irrigation appointment. I had mistakenly thought that the clinic was offering a radical new treatment: a colonic done with coffee. And by this stage, I’m happy to get caffeine into my body any which way but it turns out that it’s just a normal colonic – cappuccinos are only administered via enemas – and simply involves tummy massage and jets of water up your you know what. I watch food that has been chewed less than 54 times leave my body bobbing along water in a clear pipe, and afterwards feel light-headed and less gassy.

To feel any changes and gain scientifically measurable effects, a week is the minimum recommended stay at Sha but I have a good ‘taster’ in four days. If you go for longer, they can do genetic testing to check, for example, if you’re prone to obesity, and monitor things like thyroid function and cholesterol. On my last day the nurse excitedly shows that I’ve lost nearly two percent of my body fat. Then she weighs me. I’ve lost 200 grams. That works out at least £8 a gram. Even at that price, I’d go back again. I’ve learnt 50 things to do with seaweed and I’m keen to make some life changes. I realise I’ve been drawn to the macrobiotic way of thinking when I get on the plane and someone asks, ‘What’s it like in London?’ and the hostess replies, ‘Lots of grain’.

Since my return, I’ve been avoiding wheat, sugar, caffeine, dairy and my cannibalistic tendencies. Plus I had a great follow-up colonic with Caroline Shaw at the Hale Clinic (+44 20 7631 0156; www.haleclinic.com). My Sha experience has left me with sparkling eyes, a glowing complexion and feeling calm. But it has also left me miserable. Now everyone tells me that that’s because I’m detoxing….

A four day Sha Discovery package costs €750; accommodation costs from €200 per night. www.shawellnessclinic.com. Monarch flies direct to Alicante all year round – book flights at www.monarch.co.uk

Fernando de Noronha is a group of paradise islands just off the North East coast of Brazil. Consisting of 20 small islands and one larger one, the archipelago lies 340km from the mainland coast and covers an area of only 17 km2. On land, there are 2100 residents; the crystal clear waters surrounding the islands are equally occupied, with 230 varieties of fish, five types of shark, two species of sea turtles, 15 coral reefs and, unique to here and the South Pacific, the Spinner Dolphin.
Sustainable tourism is the islands biggest source of revenue but the number of people allowed on the islands at any one time is strictly limited (only 420 tourists) to ensure its eco-tourism status – the longer you stay on the islands the higher the permit fee but it is worth staying at least five days if you can. Walking, cycling or hiring a buggy are the best way to get around and to reach the amazing beaches with breathtaking vistas. There are 16 idyllic beaches to choose from including Baia dos Porcos, Praia dos Sancho and Praia do Atalaia, which has a stunning natural swimming pool amongst the rocks where you can pop your head under the water and see the most amazing tropical species of fish, octopus, baby shark etc.

Where to Stay

Accommodation is limited and gets very busy at peak times. There is only one hotel, Dolphin Hotel in the moderately priced category, but there are also very luxurious pousadas (guest houses), some of which also have the best dining on the island. As the island is so small you will not be far from any of its attraction wherever you choose to stay.

Pousada Solar de Loronha, which means ‘the house of noble,’ fuses guest comforts with nature preservation. Stay in air-conditioned bungalows, all of which have views of the sea. Located close to Sueste Beach Pousada Maravilha offers an extraordinary view of the ocean and has an Environmental Administration System in place to defend and preserve its environment. There are five bungalows and three suites (which each sleep four people). They all overlook the sea and have relaxing hammocks on their porches – the bungalows also each come with a Japanese hot tub. Professional, internationally experienced staff will make your trip comfortable and private.

Pousada Solar dos Ventos is situated only 300m away from Baía do Sueste (Sueste Bay) where there are great concentrations of fish, octopus, skates and sea turtles, which can be seen during diving. Considered one of the best pousadas in Brazil, Pousada Ze Maria has humble beginnings but has expanded in an environmentally friendly way with everything being powered by solar energy, and now consists of six standard apartments, nine bungalows and three special bungalows, which sleep up to five people. The architectural eco project of Pousada Teju-Açu, which has 12 apartments, has very little impact on the land (most structures are on platforms above the ground). The construction materials used are mainly from sustainable trees.
See details of luxury and moderate accommodation in Fernando de Noronha.

Where to Eat

As you would expect from an island with so much fishing, the most popular dish on a menu is seafood. It goes without saying that the fish is caught daily. Dishes include sushi and sashimi and grilled and baked fish, but the most famous of all is banana leaf wrapped fish. Deep fried shark meat dumplings are unique to the island and can be found at most restaurants. The national dish of Brazil is Feijoada which is a stew made from black beans and cuts of meat such as pork knuckle, pigs ears and chops as well as pieces of beef. It is served with rice and vegetables with orange slices as a garnish. This is mostly available at local street cafes but not many restaurants and those that do serve it do usually only on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

Restaurante Teju-Açu (Modern / Brazilian). Restaurante Teju-Açu mixes brazilian and international flavours in modern ways. Local ingredients are prepared with imagination and style. The most popular dessert is gateau filled with warm creamy cheese and topped with a light guava syrup. The restaurant and bar are situated by the pool for a great ambience. (Estrada da Alamoa (81) 3619 1277. Daily)

Trattoria di Morena (Modern / International). Established in 1999, Trattoria di Morena has become a gastronomic reference on the island. Chef André Filho presents a selection of creative contemporary cuisine with a variety of ingredients from the region. On Fridays and Saturdays the restaurant has a Happy Hour with live music between 6.30-8.30pm. (Rua Nice Cordeiro, 2600, Floresta Velha (81) 3619-1142. Daily 5pm-11.30pm)

Restaurante do Zé Maria (Regional /Modern). Restaurante do Zé Maria blends the simplicity of local dishes with the sophistication of the best gastronomy in the major cities of Brazil. The ambience is created by a mix of rustic and hand crafted furniture within decoration that is inspired by the culture of Northeast Brazil. On Wednesdays and Saturdays from 8pm the Banquet style Festival Gastranomic is accompanied by life music. (Rua Nice Cordeiro, 01, Floresta Velha (81) 3619-1258. Daily 12noon-11.30pm. Festival Gastronomic approx. R$110 per person + 10% service).

See all Restauraunt recommendations

Where to Drink

Kiosks and bars can be found near the port for a chilled beer or a Caipirinha. Some places have space to have a dance as well. Local hero, singer and composer Ju Medeiros can often be seen and heard in bars and restaurants around the island.

What to See

Unsurprisingly most activities here take place in or around the water, whether snorkelling, diving, surfing, kayaking, fishing or sailing. For snorkelling, head down to Praia da Atalaia where the number of people permitted to snorkel each day is limited to 100. A tidal pool no deeper than 24 inches contains a remarkable diversity of animals – including lobsters, octopuses and the possibility of a baby shark or two. The diving is brilliant too, with visibility reaching 50 meters (165 feet), and the average water temperature around 26 degrees centigrade (79 Fahrenheit). Coral reefs, sea turtles, sharks, spinner dolphins, barracudas, and shipwrecks are some of the attractions. Those who are feeling adventurous should try their hand at Plana Sub or tow diving. It uses the same equipment used in free diving; just a mask, snorkel and fins. Holding a small board and towed by a motorboat you can experience the sensation of flying and manoeuvre the board to turn, go up and down. Hold your breath as long as you can.

Back on dry land, go horse riding along the beach, trekking, or rent a buggy or mountain bike to explore. Head for Dolphin Bay (Baia do Golfinhos) to see dolphins all year round and Turtle Bay (Baía do Sueste) or Leão Beach for the turtles (egg laying and hatching happens between December and May). During September and October, whales can sometimes be spotted as well.

Beaches get busy here, but there are plenty of them around the island, so it is just a question of choosing the ones you want to visit. Sancho Bay and Pig Bay vie for the title of best beach but there is a bus that trundles from one end of the island to the other along its only road ($R2.85) and you can hop on and off as you please. Finally, sunsets are spectacular wherever you are, but the best vantage point is Mirante Dois Irmãos. These activities can be booked as part of trips and tours on the island. See here for details.

How to Get There

The nearest international airports in Brazil are Recife and Natal. There are daily flights from both.

When to go

Temperatures remain pleasant all year round but there’s a higher chance of rain between February and July. Dolphins can be spotted year-round. Turtles lay eggs in December and these will hatch around May the following year. Whales can be spotted in September/October. Sea temperatures are warm all year.
By: Paul Barnett

CITY

• “All regions of Morocco are represented in Casa. You can find people from the farthest reaches of the Sahara, from the Mediterranean coast, and from the High Atlas mountains. And where you find them, you find their cuisine and their customs. At the same time, there’s an intoxicating oddness about the city, fragments of life that many Casablancans hardly know exist.” Tahir Shah explains why he loves Casablanca in Of all the medinas … insider’s guide to Casablanca.
• “While the Danish cuisine reflected in the capital’s restaurants 20 years ago could be labelled traditional at best and bland at worst, the ugly duckling has turned into a beautiful meaty swan.” Lars Eriksen shares his Top 10 guide to eating in Copenhagen.
• “The future of El Cabanyal looks uncertain, but while it’s still standing, visitors have a last chance to explore this unpolished gem on the Mediterranean before it is destroyed for ever.” Jason Webster enourages us to Head for Valencia fishermen’s quarter – before the bulldozers get there …
• In Now, Cultural Casablanca, The New York Times’ Marisa Mazria-Katz writes about the unique and chaotic contemporary arts scene flourishing in Casablanca.

ESCAPE

• Anthony Peregrine of The Times learns to relax on an Ultimate chill-out on a posh barge in France – “I asked for a beer and settled back to the canal’s true pace — one that the rest of the world lost to steam trains, and I’d not experienced since my days in a pram.”
• The Guardian’s Liz Boulter learns how to look Ten years younger in Turkey – “No Botox or face-lifts. No salon facials or £90-a-jar creams. All I need to do to look better and younger is spend 10 minutes every morning and evening doing the Les Dawson jaw thrust and the airy-fairy face tap…”
• Anthony Sattin tells of his Adventures in Aswan. “Crossing back over the Nile from the ruins of Yebu to the centre of Aswan, from a world of rising rivers and animal gods to the rush of traffic and the call to prayer, requires another sort of transformation.”
• The Independent’s Susan Griffith spends 48 Hours In: Victoria, the capital of British Columbia, for a month full of colourful festivals and parades.
• Claire Wrathall discovers The striking mix of cultures of St Lucia – “Christopher Columbus may have claimed St Lucia for Spain when he happened on it in 1502 but the Spanish never settled here. And it’s not as if there’s a shortage of existing cultural influences to find inspiration in: Amerindian, African, French, British and even Indian…”
• Maura J. Casey highlights “a handful of hotels that not only offer proximity to old ruins or historical excavations but also own them.” Here are her pick of Splendid Ruins: Hotels Built on History in The New York Times.

OUTDOOR/ADVENTURE

• In The Telegraph Gabriella Le Breton tries her hand at archery, gourmet game cooking and orienteering in the wilds Vermont. “”This place is great,” says Nancy Crane, here with her mother and sister. “I now know how to render my soon-to-be ex-husband unconscious, chop him up with a chainsaw and kayak out to the middle of a lake to dump his remains.” This is New England: Girls go wild in Vermont
• In The FT Benedict Mander discovers Orinoco Delta’s wildlife and water people: “There were sightings of river dolphins and capuchin monkeys. And the range of birdlife was stunning – swarms of scarlet ibises, squawking guacharacas, toucans peering down from stately ceiba trees, kingfishers flitting across waterways and guacamayas floating grandly by overhead.”

FAMILY

• Mishal Husain enjoys a trip down memory lane as she makes a A return to the Emirates, journeying back to her childhood holiday spots with her own children in tow.
• “Is it possible to walk in the Rockies without providing grizzlies with child-size snacks?” The Guardian’s Kevin Rushby writes about taking his family for a hike in Bear with me: trekking in the Canadian Rockies.

Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, is one of those places dubbed a ‘hole’. It’s neither particularly old, nor particularly beautiful. But read on because now there’s a reason to visit: the Oyster Bay Hotel. Renovated in 2007, the hotel is particularly beautiful. It’s also one of the coolest overnight stops in Africa for in-transit honeymooners and those who are en-route, whether to the high snows of Kilimanjaro, the coral sands and historical sights of Zanzibar, the Rift Valley or the Serengeti with its annual migration of two million animals.

The Oyster Bay Hotel is a nine-bed villa with shady colonnades and courtyards. It sits on Oyster Bay, next to the embassy residences and overlooking the ocean. Opposite, huge boats line the harbour (harbour duties are low here) and then set off in twos and threes to deter pirates. The hotel’s interior is in keeping with the new African aesthetic: tribal, organic and chic. It has a large, minimalist open-plan space with muted colours and materials that you want to touch (think jute, fur and hemp), plus artefacts that tell a story. There’s a Kudu-horn lamp musical instrument used in ceremonies to communicate with ancestors; interesting lights, such as raw rattan hanging shades and a Buri palm leaf floor lamp; tribal-chief-sized beds, village-sized bathrooms and free-standing baths. ‘Such a cool vibe,’ scribbled Harpers’ editor Lucy Yeomans in the Visitors’ Book.

I was there in transit to meet friends at Lake Tanganyika – the second deepest lake in the world and the world’s longest freshwater lake – where we were picking up a Lady Lori helicopter (East Africa’s numero uno heli company) to fly to the Serengeti. In the meantime it’s only the style-addicted like me who feel content to go to Africa and just revel in a hotel’s interior. So in pursuit of areas beyond my World of Interiors mindset I decided to spend my few spare hours on the island of Zanzibar.

The ferry trip to Zanzibar involved my travelling companion, Maretha Wemtzer, the (endlessly helpful and hospitable) white South African big mama of the Oyster Bay Hotel in lengthy cross-cultural negotiations. There were ten strangers who, offering their assistance, accompanied us from the taxi to the harbour-side ferry booking office. After a small tree’s worth of form-filling, animated chats about ‘Muzungus’ (white people), residents’ rates and charges for tourists and lots of gesticulating and hand-waving, finally a deal was struck: $80 for my return trip and substantially less for Maretha because she’s a resident. We were accompanied on the two and a half hour ride by cheerful Tanzanians and narcoleptic backpackers who slept on the ferry floor.

When you arrive in Zanzibar by sea, you pass the old dhow harbour where outrigger canoes chug up and down in turquoise waters bordered by golden sands. On the shore, there’s the old Arab fort and House of Wonders (a 19th-century ceremonial palace) of Stone Town, a World Heritage Site. The Aga Khan, spiritual leader of the Shia Ismaili Muslims, has poured development money into Zanzibar. The dollars show immediately on its manicured sea front garden – Forodhani Park – where, on the day we go, someone also happens to be wrapping the trees in red fabric, in readiness for a party. Better than a yellow ribbon round an old oak tree, any day.

We walked through Stone Town, Zanzibar’s old quarter. In Zanzibar, Portuguese rule was followed by that of Omani Arabs. Omani sultans made Zanzibar the seat of their Imamate, and their home. It then became a British protectorate in 1890. Little has changed since the 1850s; Stone Town is a maze of alleyways, mosques, bazaars and high-walled buildings with teak door frames and the Koran’s scripts and symbols: from the lotus (denoting reproductive power) to fish (for fertility). A roadside vendor was selling cane sugar juice and barbecued cassava (like sweet potato.) Around him, a few men sported the traditional kanzu (ankle-length robes) and some women wore bui-bui (black gowns). But the hot fashion item is still the men’s crocheted hat.

We visited artefact shops selling Coca-Cola cans fashioned into toy cars, beaded necklaces and bags and dresses made by women’s communities from kikoi fabric. Zanzibar Gallery, a wondrous book shop sells endless tomes on African art alongside photographs, carvings and textiles. At the fish market there are piles of unidentifiable blue fish, flailing yellow Piscean prototypes and octopuses; the vegetable and spice market has spiky ‘ugly fruit,’ cashews, pungent cloves and cumin – all taken away after purchase in bags made of old newspapers. At lunch we sat in a restaurant overlooking the ocean and ate the delightfully named pilli pilli perch, steamed with lime, chilli and garlic.

Then we took in a little history. The slave trade had existed for centuries before the sultans came to Zanzibar, but not on such a scale. In the mid 19th-century, 30,000 slaves a year were bought to Zanzibar. Some were punished by being buried alive in the walls of houses under construction; others were beaten and fondled lasciviously in the market. We visited the dank and cramped subterranean quarters where slaves were kept before auctions, many dying before the sale. Then we walked around the Cathedral which was built on the site of the old slave market; saw the altar, the location of the old whipping post; and a crucifix, made from the tree under which Livingstone’s heart was gouged out after his death, and buried. It was his belief that his heart er, belonged to Africa.

On our return trip to Dar es Salaam in the evening, the ferry was full. Men in business suits, with polyester ties, Africa-sized status and even bigger smiles, stood port side, getting drenched with spray. And laughing. And laughing. It was a very happy moment.

We arrived back to the Oyster Bay Hotel and a Tanzanian feast of ‘bamia’ (okra), nyanya chungu (white baby aubergine), and spinach. All dishes were cooked in coconut milk and delicious enough to turn even the most ardent cannibal into a vegetarian. For pudding there was hot grilled pineapple drizzled with cashew, butter and honey sauce or passion fruit crème brulee. Maretha, a formidable foodie, has her staff of black men in white tunics cooking up a storm.

I looked around the beautiful and homely room; at the festivity drums, ebony veneer tree-like lamp, cow skin rugs and a gong that’s used to warn villagers against thieves; at the attentive staff and flickering candles. And I listened to the haunting music of African chanting. Dar es Salaam may not be particularly old, nor particularly beautiful. That’s certainly true. But with the re-opening of the Oyster Bay Hotel it would be hard ever to call Dar es Salaam a total hole again.

Stay at Oyster Bay from £250.00 per person, per night on a fully inclusive basis including airport transfers. Scott Dunn organises tailor-made holidays throughout East Africa, including Oyster Bay.

Call the Africa team on 020 8682 5070 or visit: www.scottdunn.com

Lady Lori Helicopters:

In East Africa, those in the know call Lady Lori helicopters the way the rest of us phone taxis. (The only difference is that these flying taxis cost $2050 an hour.) One of the pilots, Ian Mimano, once landed us elegantly between the hoops on the croquet lawn of Stefanie Power’s erstwhile safari club, so it would be a cinch for him to James Bond it onto the Oyster Bay Hotel, putting down between the oversized metal face sculptures that decorate the lawn. Used by government big wigs and celebs from Sting to Branson, Lady Lori would take less than half an hour in superlative luxury to reach Zanzibar.

Book Lady Lori helicopters through Scott Dunn or direct on (+254) 7257 97397/7334 08738;(+254)20 605 726, 605 417/8; www.flyladylori.com; operations@flyladylori.com

All treatments, including both the Detox and Relax & Renew programmes, start with a consultation and analysis and all treatments are consistently good, taking place in open air treatment rooms. No need for piped music – the sounds of the birds and giant geckos wash over you, if you manage to stay awake. The Vital Essence Oil Massage, based on Chinese tradition and meridian points, as well as the Thai massage are particularly excellent. For those trying to lose weight, the combination of colonic irrigation and a Taoist abdominal massage, as well as a daily 30 minute stay in the Far Infra Red Sauna have spectacular results.

Food is surprisingly good (even non-detoxers order it) and lunch is eaten on platforms above the water, where lotus flowers attract a profusion of butterflies. There are two infinity pools which are hewn out of the rock with a freshwater spring alongside them. The ambience here is deeply relaxing; the staff extremely attentive. Nobody cares what you wear or do and, like the monks, the whole place exudes serenity.

www.kamalaya.com

CITY

• For The Independent’s Michael Bywater “Fez is the opposite of Brussels” and all the better for it. As he describes the sights and sounds (you’ll find Al-Karaouine, the world’s oldest functioning university, and the notorious Chouara Tannery) Bywater urges you to lose yourself in the city – “the alleyways of the medina are so sinuous, straitened and overbuilt that there is, quite literally, no view. You never know what is around the next corner as it tilts down towards the river.” Best for getting lost: Fez
• “It’s ridiculous really. The British will visit Romania, Austria, Italy, even the Balkans. But they won’t go to Munich. They can’t pretend it is because there are no beaches – they go to Switzerland.” Alice Thompson at The Times finds that despite its relative unpopularity, she can’t help Falling in love with Munich as she discovers the city’s easy charm, Michelin-starred restaurants and nearby fairytale castles.
• The New York Times’ Jennifer Conlin spends 36 Hours in Istanbul , exploring what 2010’s European City of Culture can offer. According to her “the city is showcasing local artists in both historic areas and new museums – yet another example of how Istanbul is among the world’s most visually stimulating cities.” Recommendations range from a stroll down Istiklal Caddesi (a main thoroughfare) to a Mediterranean-Scandinavian restaurant and a music lounge housed in a former bakery.
• New inhabitant of Venice, John Brunton discovers The Venetian islands locals want to keep to themselves in the weekend’s Guardian, savouring the tourist-free zones of nearby towns – “all you do is buy an all-day public transport ticket then set off on an adventure that takes you from the steps of the Doge’s Palace, across the lagoon to the Lido, and then to the sleepy fishermen’s island of Pellestrina, that traverses the wild wetlands of the littoral, with the beaches and nature reserves of the Adriatic on one side, the calm waters of the lagoon on the other. The final leg, on the water bus, delivers you to the ancient port of Chioggia, a charming mini-Venice minus the crowds.”
• Edwin Heathcote, the FT’s architecture critic takes a tour of the town in the grip of a renaissance – Art Basel’s rising popularity has helped to forge Miami’s reinvention as a design capital: “The latest boom, though, has ended without a conspicuous legacy beyond the endless, bland apartment blocks and second homes. If there is something left over it is the reinvention of some of the city’s less palm-lined streets as design and arts districts. And the stage-set architecture of the city is proving a compelling backdrop to its reinvention as a design capital.”

ESCAPE

• Holly Finn writes about The ancient landscape of the Grand Canyon in the FT. “No faith is shaken when we’re told the oldest rock in the canyon, the Vishnu Schist at the bottom, is two billion years old. And yet, holy moly, this feels like a religious place. Looking into that fearsome 277-mile-long crack in the planet, you want to laugh, clap, sing. Then you want to stand very still and say nothing. You’d have to be wicked to leave here unmoved.”
• Best for sun-worshippers: Bondi Beach says Janet Street-Porter. Writing in the Independent, Street-Porter sings its praises describing it as “the most vibrant beach in Australia; perfect for a fun weekend break from the city. The combination of a beautiful bay, golden sands and a cosmopolitan crowd ensures that this is a beach for everyone”
• Looking for an escape? Well according to the Independent, Cyprus is your best bet. Jocasta Jones explains why – “we finally ventured west to view the ancient ruins and mosaics of Pafos, south to watch the ships pass by the bustling port town of Limassol, north to the fascinating walled city of Nicosia, the world’s last partitioned capital. We drove up into the hills to nibble on stickily preserved fruits in the enchanting village of Kakopetria, where shady squares brought welcome respite from the summer heat.” Best for island escapes: Cyprus
• The Times’ Daniel Finkelstein takes a family trip to Provence and attempts to learn the art of Golf and the flying trapeze at Club Med – “I was able to get out on the golf course. I write that as if it’s something I do routinely. In fact I’ve never been before. My golf handicap is that I can’t hit the ball. I wanted to go out and have a go, though, because the course looked so fantastic and also because I wanted to stand in the middle of the putting green and ring my broker on my mobile phone and tell him to sell my Harrods’ shares. I don’t have any Harrods’ shares, but you get what I mean.”

ADVENTURE/OUTDOORS

• Robert Adams goes on a 6 month adventure around Africa with two families (that’s five children) in tow, visiting some of the wildest parts of Africa – “North of Addis Ababa we took a hard, dusty mountain road to the ancient holy city of Lalibela and marvelled at the monolithic cave churches hewn from bare rock. The boys were captivated by the medieval world around us, the priests with their ornate gold crosses, the tunnels linking the churches, and the macabre sight of human bones sticking out of coffins and carved niches in the rock face.” This is Cape Town to Cairo – and back again
• In The Telegraph Lydia Bell gets away from the urbane pace of Cuba’s cities in search of a more relaxed way of life. Passing through the towns of Cienfuegos and Trinidad “an exquisitely preserved museum piece of cobblestone streets and sumptuous squares” Bell and her husband sit back and soak up the simple charms of these small towns – “On our way home we stop in Plaza Ignacio Agramonte and join the locals on the marble benches. We stay there until the sun fades then walk back through silent streets.” Cuba: Journey to the provincial heart
• In Iceland: Go with the floe Chris Heath from The Telegraph takes an 830 mile trip around the country, stopping for the many curiosities along the way – hot springs full of ‘uncommon’ bacteria, lava formations, waterfalls, glaciers. Culture comes in the form of a poetry reading, whale museum (which is also an indoor golf course) and erm, a penis museum – “Once you’ve been in Iceland for a while it barely seems surprising, let alone remarkable, that in a small fishing town on the northern coast a man would open what he calls the Phallalogical Mus eum, dedicated to the display of the world’s most extensive collection of mammalian penises” – but it’s the beauty of the island which most enthralls Heath.
• The Independent’s Maria Arnold, heads to a beginner-friendly ski resort in Sainte Foy as she heads to the slopes with her children on for their first time skiing: “Two great nursery slopes with magic carpets (gone are the jerky button lifts of yesteryear) got our young children off to a great start, and they quickly graduated to greens and blues. For them, the great highlight was the “Fox Run”, a narrow track through the woods with a big bump every few yards – producing squeals of delight as they came bobbing down, emerging from the trees with huge grins across their faces” Best for reluctant downhillers: Sainte Foy
• “Either everyone needed cheering up or it was national “make fun of a limey” day. Michael Jackson was on the sound system, encouraging us not to stop till we got enough. The women high-kicked, while I just looked like an arthritic old labrador on a one-way trip to the vet. I moved right as they moved left, and I shimmied when I should have sashayed.” The Times’ Will Hide finds himself enjoying the ball game, despite having to go Cheerleading with the Miami Dolphins in Southern Florida.

WILDLIFE/NATURE

• The Telegraph’s Jessamy Calkin takes his son Jonah Whale watching in South Africa, staying near the town of Hermanus, marvelling at the grace of these great creatures – “at one point she turned on to her side and Jonah and I, leaning over the side of the boat, found ourselves looking directly into her eye. I thought of Paul Watson, the eco militant…and the beginning of his fight to save the whales: ‘As the whale slid back into the water we saw his eye, which was the size of a dinner plate, and in that whale’s eye I saw recognition, compassion, empathy and understanding. Something passed between us and it changed my life for ever.’
• “When you are an old man, remember this moment,” I said to my companion, a six-year-old relative called Elliot. “Why?” said Elliot, licking his ice lolly. “Because when you are an old man the snow leopard will not exist.” – Nigel Richardson goes to mountains of Ladakh: Chasing the snow leopard, a creature which, partly due to its endangered status proves to be tantalisingly elusive.
• Sean O’Grady gets an animal education in Best for the wild at heart: South Africa, the Independent’s top tip for safari holidays: “I now know why leopards take their kills up a tree (so dinner isn’t stolen by hyenas), how to distinguish hippo and rhino tracks (hippo drag their feet) and how to age a lion (the darker the mane, the older it is).”
• In the New York Times Tara Mulholland enjoys a trip Into the Wild in Lush Guyana exploring the wildlife and off-the-beaten track isolation, although, she warns, it’s not for everybody – “At the Karanambu ranch, we ran into two Frankfurt-based couples, who, upon finding that Guyana did not provide the on-tap wildlife, chilled wines and lizard-free log cabins that, say, a chic safari trip might, had chartered a private plane to take them back to Georgetown.”

HISTORY

• Tom Chesshyre visits Mandela’s prison island, 20 years on, led by tour guides who are former inmates of the prison: “Tours to Robben Island take about four hours – 45 minutes each way on the ferry, with a walk through the prison compound and a drive around the island on buses bearing the slogan: “The journey’s never long when freedom’s the destination.”"
• In the FT, Andrew Mueller visits monuments linked to the Civil Rights movement in Montgomery, Alabama, in homage to the Ghosts of Alabama’s civil rights struggle and the Montgomery bus boycott – “A museum named after Parks, a few blocks from the King church, recalls the boycott in detail. It’s a heartening illustration of what can be accomplished by determined and reasonable people. Like all of Montgomery’s civil rights heritage, it’s worth travelling a long way to see.”

F.X. Mayr

Viva Mayr

Setting

Viva Mayr restaurant overlooking Lake Worth

The F.X. Mayr, like the Viva Mayr, is on Lake Worth. The two clinics are 45 minutes walk from each other or 5 minutes by car. The views from both are idyllic, though the Viva has the edge because it is right on the lake whereas there is a road separating the F.X. Mayr from the lakeshore, although Globalista has learnt that plans are afoot to redevelop and move onto the lakeshore.

F.X Mayr golf course

But in the location stakes the F.X. wins hands down as behind the clinic are both a golf course and a magical forest, which means in winter there are lovely walks across the golf course. At Christmas 2009 it was doubly pleasurable as there was a thick layer of snow.

And in summer you can walk right from the clinic through a vast array of forest paths. The Viva Mayr, by contrast, is in a fairytale village with two beautiful churches side by side but with no walking on the doorstep other than the roadside walk around the lake.

Comfort

Viva Mayr guest room

In terms of comfort there’s no contest – the Viva Mayr is five-star and extremely luxurious and comfortable. The F.X. Mayr is like a poor Marriott, with adequate but hideously decorated bedrooms. It’s not uncomfortable; it’s just that there is a three-star feel to it all.

F.X. Mayr guest room

Having said that, aficionadas of the F.X. Mayr (and Globalista now counts itself amongst them) prefer it for the very reason that it has a sanatorium rather than upmarket spa feel. Somehow if you’re going to starve and address your health, ‘boot camp’ surroundings seem entirely appropriate.

In this vein another advantage of the F.X. Mayr over the Viva Mayr, at least in high season, is that there’s only one bar/restaurant anywhere near; thankfully it’s not visible from the clinic and is a 5-10 minute walk away. Viva Mayr, on the other hand, is surrounded by temptation – with coffee shops and pizzerias on the doorstep.

Treatments/Health

F.X. Mayr pool

On the health side both clinics follow a similar pattern. The supporters of the F.X Mayr argue that the medical supervision (at least two doctors’ appointments during your stay) at the F.X. Mayr is infinitely superior and the dietary detoxification regime more prescriptive – more clinic than spa. They also use Organic Pharmacy products which are free from preservatives and petrochemicals.

Viva Mayr sauna

There is a wide range of treatments available at both: blood analysis, shiatsu, acupuncture, kneipping, infusions, blood oxygenation, massage of every variety and, of course, colonic irrigation. In spa treatments Viva Mayr excels. There’s a shortage of beauticians at the F.X. Mayr and manicures and pedicures must be booked in advance of your stay. They’re adequate, but certainly not extraordinary.

Tips/Advice

(a) Price

Both clinics are vastly more expensive than one imagines. Even though the room rate at the F.X. Mayr is only around 800 euros per week per person, the treatments, however sparing one is, add at least another 1200 euros to the bill. One point worth noting: the Viva Mayr only offers individual treatments, rather than a treatment programme, which may work out more expensive.

(b) Getting there

There are three ways to travel to Klagenfurt: fly to Vienna and take a three-hour taxi ride; fly direct to Klagenfurt; or, most charmingly, fly to Ljubljana in Slovenia which is absolutely divine and definitely worth staying the night in. Then it’s a beautiful one-hour taxi ride over the mountains. To be recommended.

(c) Visits

There are outings to Klagenfurt and Ljubljana stopping on the way at Bled. Try to leave these, particularly the Klagenfurt excursion, until the end of your stay as temptation in the form of fantastic cake and coffee shops awaits you on most street corners.

(d) Entertainment

There isn’t a great deal of entertainment on offer for your detox nights. We recommend that you come stocked with DVDs that you’ve been meaning to catch up on.

Find out more information on F.X Mayr at www.360travel.co.uk/mayr/english/index.html and Viva Mayr at www.viva-mayr.com/en/

Visit Globalista.co.uk for more insider information on resorts and spas in Austria.